Refugees from Congo Civil War ‘more angry about Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand’

Refugees fleeing the Civil war in the Democratic Republic of Congo said their suffering had been made far worse this week after learning of the obscene radio broadcast made by ‘so-called’ comedians Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand. The brutal African war is entering its tenth year, but UN observers on the ground say that this week’s BBC Radio 2 scandal has left morale in the region at an all time low.

‘It was bad enough having our homes burnt out, seeing our neighbours gunned down in cold blood, and then losing limbs from land mines hidden along our escape route. But then to hear about this experienced comic actor being teased by two younger comics, on a programme no-one heard at the time anyway, well that is more than any humans should have to endure.’

The refugees, mostly ethnic Hutus are now heading towards Goma, away from the scene of the original broadcast at the BBC headquarters in West London. The two sides in the Civil War remain bitterly divided over whether the BBC were right to suspend Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand over the prank phone-call. The refugee Tutsis believe that Ross should follow the example of his foul mouthed friend and resign from the BBC, whereas the Rwandan Hutus have claim that these comedians always sail quite close to the wind, even if they may have gone slightly too far this time, ‘although it’s not that big a deal’. There had been hopes that a negotiated settlement to the war might be reached this week, but this scandal has proved a deal breaker, with neither side prepared to back down.

The UN Security Council were not able to debate the crisis as they were drafting a letter of condemnation to BBC Radio 2. In America, both Barack Obama and John McCain agreed to suspend their presidential campaign to focus on the scandal, while a unified European response was complicated when President Sarkozy announced that he too had slept with Andrew Sach’s granddaughter. ‘She is sexy girl. I am President of France. Is no big deal. You want I ring Manuel, and tell him?’